I am in the kitchen

One thing that reminds me again and again in these years is what the Tibetan writer, Raza Jamyang Kyi has said. What Jamyang Kyi has found out after visiting US was that most of the kitchens in US are very big in size. When she asked someone ‘why,’ she was told that since both the couples cook together, a big kitchen is required.
What Kyi has said in a way blames a certain Tibetan inheritance: screaming over the past from where the Tibetan women have suffered till date. And in way, the writer also tries to defend the social status of women from being discriminated.

In the Early morning of 2nd Nov, 2011 I got up and went up over our building terrace to memorize a poetry for a poetry recitation contest, the first ever poetry recitation contest held in our exile Tibetan community which was organized by Wokar website. That morning when I came back to my room after I memorizing few stanzas from my own poem “three fragmented poem”, my girlfriend was still in deep sleep.

I realized she was not feeling well enough due to a severe cough since few days. So quietly I entered into the kitchen and prepared our breakfast without waking her up. She woke up when I was almost done; swiftly she got off the bed and kept herself busy with freshening herself and cleaning room. After she was done, she entered the kitchen and hugged me from my neck while I was pouring tea which made me halt.
“What? “ I asked
“I’m very happy” she replied

“As you prepared breakfast for us” she answered with an unbreakable smile.
I could have spoken some sweet words to make her happier but I was left voiceless and kept nodding to her words. While we were having breakfast, my mind kept encapsulating over the possible reason about Raza Jamyong Kyi has repeatedly emphasized the words of women until she broke her voice in order to please the women folk.

When my girl friend came back from United States, she asked me for the first time to prepare Thenthuk (dough flakes in soup) for dinner because she likes my Thenthuk. Since then whenever our dinner would be Thenthuk, I cooked it, at other times while she was cooking, I’d join her. Mostly we were together in kitchen whatever works might be there.

If I was in Tibet, I would never be in the kitchen, cooking with my girlfriend neither would I have given importance to Kyi’s words nor would I have written this article about my presence in kitchen. This might be a change.

I remembered a man in kitchen while I am talking about my presence. Whenever I return home late after my regular basketball game at the Gankyi basketball ground in Dharamshala, I can see couples cooking together in many of the kitchens. Most of the kitchens are poor and congested yet many a time I find all of them working together in the kitchens happily- while one washes rice the other chops vegetables or vice versa. All of them look happy and loving, and perfect couples. Nowadays it’s not uncommon for couples to work together in kitchen. There are some instances where men dominate wives-by simply sitting firm with arrogance while their wives work alone in the kitchen.

Anyhow, a change is happening. With such change involving someone like me to please my girl friend, the same pleasure can be applicable to other women- it brings them pleasure beyond our imagination and may be this is what Jamyang Kyi seeks for women.

If we consider this as a spark igniting from west to east and from east to Tibet, then there is a possibility that this spark will turn into a big flame.

NOTE— In view of respecting of the females including our mothers and sisters, the former Tibetan journalist, Arig Gyurmey wrote the article and Wangden Kyab, a Tibetan journalist at Tibet Times translated the piece.

Stay tuned to TIBET TELEGRAPH for more news and views on Tibet and Tibetan life, and on areas of interest to the Tibetan readers


  1. Love this unique article, away from all politics and mundane read!
    Keep up with such article and yes we need to cover about little happenings in life and not just the political cause. This reminds me a friend of mine (Ph.D student/Professor)- he said Tibetans in general do not realize their core culture and spend more time just for the political cause. He suggested spending time enjoying our way of life and engaging in small activities as this is what westerners sees as the biggest asset of our culture.
    Thank you for this post and would love to read more of such topics that connects dot between our core culture and happenings in life.

  2. Different piece but I enjoyed reading this.

  3. on anything which is an interest to the Tibet Telegraph readers

  4. Good job, keep it up Pola!

  5. Confusion about terms may cause some to be able to avoid online payday cash
    advances, but there are solutions to use payday cash
    advances in your gift payday loan
    south carolina continues being hit especially hard even as have the third highest unemployment rate
    within the nation at 9.